I recently auditioned to play violin in my school’s chapel services, and I came away with some realizations that I simply must share with you! 1) I was reminded once again how insecure I really am and how much I crave acceptance from the people around me. The minute I walked on stage I immediately felt a surge of energy course through my veins although it wasn’t completely nervous energy like it has been before—it was more of an...
I’ll be frank, I’m not sure what to say right now… I’ve been pretty tired this week. However, it’s been a joyful week as well. I’ve been learning contentment and honesty and surrender. I’ve been learning thankfulness. In my copy of the devotional Jesus Calling, I read today that I should let thankfulness temper my thoughts. What a wonderful idea. Thankfulness keeps my attitude headed in a positive direction. Thankfulness keeps me...
Jesus, as I call Your Name,
I feel crushing defeat
Weighing down.
Surely, no, it couldn't be,
Not my pride, no, not control,
My heavy crown. I see a future full of stuff
To do, entirely of my own
Creating.
But the calendar constrains—
The due process of order leaves me
Waiting. I open my mouth to speak,
Explain the tension holding
My weak love.
If weeping breaks the chains of fear,
Accept this act committed here
With fierce love.
I just want to be mature and complete! I feel like I am constantly learning and re-learning the same lessons in life. How long will I go through this cycle of repetition? How long will I so stubbornly stick to my old ways of thinking? Change me, O God! Create in me a pure heart. I see other people pass me by on the road of maturity, learning the lessons that I somehow never fully grasped and I mourn for my own lack of understanding. Perhaps I...
I was feeling defeated today. What do I do when I feel defeated? I talk to Jesus. So, J and I were talking today and He showed me something that I hadn't fully realized. I've been comparing myself with my brothers and sisters in Christ, trying to measure up to an imaginary standard of excellence that would not bring fulfillment. I was questioning God. Why do there seem to be so many people much more talented than I? Why do I feel unneeded? Why...
I was talking with Jesus today. I had before me a choice to focus on something evil and pleasurable or to turn and spend time with Jesus. I packed up my backpack, got up from my seat, and walked to the exit. Jesus closed the door behind me and we walked outside discussing life. Well, it was more like I was telling Him about my life. I finally stopped speaking and asked Him where we were going. He asked me what I wanted to do. I told Him that I...
"Sunshine is the best disinfectant." —Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis I woke up this morning to a ray of sunshine through my window, and I couldn't help but smile. After a busy week of school during which it was mostly cloudy and rainy, I needed the encouraging brightness of sunlight. It brought to mind, one of the life lessons I have been reflecting on this week: renewing your mind. There is a reason that the Bible says that we are to...
