Month: August 2012

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Twilight

Is the sun coming up or going down?

To me, there’s something mysterious about the period of day we know as twilight. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the morning twilight or the evening twilight, because both represent hope to me. Something about having the sun below the horizon yet still radiating its light across the sky gives me assurance that there is still hope. It could be an analogy for how though I cannot see the sun, I can see evidences of its existence—kind of like Jesus’ illustration to Nicodemus about the Holy Spirit.

The evening twilight represents hope to me for the promise of nightfall and rest. The morning twilight represents hope to me for the promise of a new day and opportunity to actively pursue my passions. I don’t think I’d ever want to be stuck in twilight forever though. Stuck in the tension of a hope to come, yet not ready to be fulfilled. It would make my heart sick yearning for the coming of that hope. Yes, perhaps that’s why I’m enamored with the twilight right now. That’s my season of life: the tension of hope in a coming Savior, seeing His power at work in the world, yet not currently able to see His face.

Twilight is about trust: trust in the evening that morning will come, trust in the morning that rest will follow. In those precious few minutes of twilight, I learn again to hope. I learn again to trust that all my doing and all my resting has found fulfillment in Jesus. I learn to stay my mind on Christ and to expressly release control to Him over all of the situations and relationships that I cannot make right and look to Him for the restoration of all things. I learn to aspire to wonder at the marvelous power of God and expectantly wait for Him to show forth His goodness, His glory. In the twilight, my heart cries out to Jesus.

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Theodicy

We’ve all heard it, the age old question: why does God allow evil and suffering in the world? Nothing makes this question more relevant than the present experience of pain. There is brokenness in this world, some call it sin—the point is that things are not as they should be. At least, that is the opinion of the Text, the Tanakh, the Bible, Holy Scripture.

The Jews, similarly convinced of the brokenness of the world, gave us the idea of “tikkun olam,” that is, “fixing the world.” The world is in distress. When this distress comes into our view and we open our mouths to ask God, “Where are You?” He replies to us, “I am here; where are you?” Thus, it is our responsibility and privilege to partner with God to bring healing to this fractured world.*

I have recently been brought to a heightened awareness of the brokenness around me through my struggles this summer to find steady work, to make just enough to pay rent and buy food, only to then be entrusted with more challenges—insurance payments and auto repair bills. It’s a veritable cacophony of people exclaiming that you owe them, that you’re in debt to them. If only I could flay myself open, lay my life bare before each one and show them that I’ve not been irresponsible. Your good intentions, however, mean nothing in a consumer society… doesn’t that strike you odd? Competition means someone loses, and I’ve been losing a lot lately. Perhaps, at least in my thought life, I find a little bit of the brokenness of the world within myself.

So in the midst of the brokenness, I ask God, “Where are You?” and He responds to me, “I am here; walk with Me.” God is the only person wholly outside of brokenness, yet He chooses to be affected by our broken world by loving us. I believe that as we choose to walk with God in the midst of the broken world and let this very real problem enter into us as our responsibility, we will find the wholeness of God restoring our broken world. Yet, before we can see the wholeness of God, we must first be confronted with the utter brokenness of the world and feel the painful despair of knowing that we are powerless to fix it. That’s why we partner with God to fix it. He has the power, and He has asked us to represent Him.

Img Cred: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/2012/06/when-brokenness-is-beginning.html

*Credit for this thought goes to Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth. He has several books full of deep spiritual and philosophical insight.

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Vision

The world of the imagination is a black canvas for prayer to paint upon.

Today I want to share with you my vision. Often I blog about life lessons and realizations that fascinate me. Earlier today, however, I was listening to a sermon by Kris Valloton on dreaming. It hit me so deeply. So many of my worries in life have been related to my future, and so many times I have side-stepped the real issue by telling myself that I needed to stop worrying and start trusting God. This is true, to an extent. For me, the issue ran deeper. My concern for the future was not a command to stop worrying, but an invitation to start dreaming.

So many of the accomplishments and so much of the work I’ve taken on has been in pursuit of the mysterious “will of God” and entailed me listening to His voice to hear how He would direct me next. Because He is faithful, He has done just that. The sad part is that He’s been waiting for me to do so much more than just listen. He’s been waiting for me to dream and dialogue with Him about who I am and what I’d like to see happen in the world. I’ve given Him the blank canvas of my imagination and told Him, “Make something!” but that’s not His role. He’s already made me perfect in Christ, now He wants me to go manifest that perfection in my own unique way. His work is done—now it’s my turn.

With all that said, I present my vision based on the criteria that Kris suggested in his sermon.

Who: I am a man of prayer, a seeker of righteousness, and a musician.

Why: I aim to show the world that the prayer of a righteous man is effective and able to connect to the heart of mankind.

What: I desire to write prayers in song, teaching people how to pray effectively and genuinely.

How: In the short term, by finishing the songs for my first EP and releasing them on iTunes. In the long term, by becoming a dedicated song-writer and prayer warrior.

When: I want to get the EP released by the end of summer!

I have needed a vision for a long time, I have wandered aimlessly through a metaphorical desert since I was a child, and only now am I waking up to realize that what I do can and does hold power because I have Christ living in me. I have tried to craft vision statements many times before and they’ve all been left incomplete and unclear. For some reason, talking it through with God this time, I have come up with SOMETHING! I wasn’t disconnected from God in my previous attempts, which leads me to believe that there may yet have been a Divine purpose in my wandering (I’m still reflecting on that), but for now I know this: God is the potter, but in order to shape us, He needs something to work with. Vision is the emulsifier of identity—it makes who we are stick together in a unified manner and keeps us on a course. I have now found a small piece of that, and I’m going to run with it for now and keep asking for more.