30 Days of Inventory, Week 2

So at the start of this month, I began doing 30 Days of Inventory on my vlog. I forgot to make a post for the first video, but I’m just gonna pick up posting here with my video for week 2!

The idea for this came from one of my ramblings during my weekly “Behind The Wheel” series (in case you’re wondering, this “30 Days of Inventory” series is taking the place of my BTW videos).

It’s really just a way to focus on what I have instead of all the things I don’t have or all the ways I don’t measure up to where I think I should be. It’s an exercise in gratitude.

Having said that, I invite you to watch my vlog here for week 2 and then share your thoughts with me: what are some of the resources and blessings you have in your life that make you unique and empowered?

How kind is too kind?

Or is there even such a thing? Does it come in degrees? Is it all or nothing? Join me as I explore this topic a bit in the video below and let’s talk about it in the comments!

Reframing

Today, I want to build on an idea I’ve previously journaled on but not shared publicly: reputation is the essence of the flesh.

I’m referring to the “flesh” talked about in the New Testament. In most places where Paul talks about the flesh versus the spirit, you can understand him to be referring to one’s reputation, not the physical body.

In Galatians 5, Paul describes the fruit of the Spirit: 9 positive characteristics that demonstrate together the manifestation of the Spirit in your life. Since we know that the Spirit is opposed to the flesh, it is a given that the fruit of the flesh, of reputation, is a negative contrast to these qualities.

As I was thinking about this idea one day, my mind jumped to the book of Ecclesiastes. That whole book is a great example of the reasoning of the natural mind, whose origins of thought are based in the land of reputation.

The portion in chapter 3 about there being a time for everything is often interpreted as a balanced view of life, pairing things that have positive associations with things that have negative associations. I think that this section is an example of allowing disappointment to convince you that the mindset of the spirit is imbalanced by itself (big lie!).

Look at how easily you can divide the list in verses 1-8 into competing perspectives between the spirit and the flesh (positive versus negative).

The Spirit:

  1. A time to be born
  2. A time to plant
  3. A time to heal
  4. A time to build up
  5. A time to laugh
  6. A time to gather stones
  7. A time to embrace
  8. A time to search
  9. A time to keep
  10. A time to sew together
  11. A time to speak
  12. A time to love
  13. A time for peace

The Flesh:

  1. A time to die
  2. A time to uproot what’s planted
  3. A time to kill
  4. A time to tear down
  5. A time to weep
  6. A time to throw stones
  7. A time to shun embracing
  8. A time to give up as lost
  9. A time to throw away
  10. A time to tear apart
  11. A time to be silent
  12. A time to hate
  13. A time for war

I’m convinced that the Spirit doesn’t ignore any parts of life or try to sweep them under the rug. However, I think that we often lack knowledge and understanding of God’s intentions about the circumstances we encounter and allow our desire for meaning to give the flesh permission to tutor us on how to interpret the things we don’t understand so that we don’t have to wrestle with mystery.

I believe that this list in Ecclesiastes is excellent raw material for us to reframe the reasoning of the flesh into ideas that give insight and hope into the work of the Spirit based on the knowledge that His intentions are good and are for us rather than against us. Here is my reframing of the negative ideas in verses 1-8:

Mystery reframed:

  1. A time to be born again
  2. A time to make room for more planting
  3. A time to destroy what keeps you from healing
  4. A time to clear the way for stronger foundations or improvements
  5. A time to release what keeps you from the laughter of joy
  6. A time to help others gather
  7. A time to embrace your independence
  8. A time to discover new meaning or value
  9. A time to prioritize freshness
  10. A time to repurpose and recycle
  11. A time to speak in a different medium
  12. A time to focus your love (deep love of one thing is often perceived as hate of another)
  13. A time to defend healthy boundaries which are the pillars of peace

All negatives in life are really misunderstood positives. The flesh seeks to clarify what we don’t understand according to the assumption that anything hurtful or extreme is probably intended to hurt us. However, the spirit affords us the opportunity to rework our assumptions about these circumstances from the intimate knowledge that God is love and intends to bless us by working all things together for good. Negatives develop from ignorance and short-sightedness; but positives emerge from long-term vision and intimacy with God.

Upending Anger

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.

Romans 12:14 (NLT)

I remember watching a video not too long ago of a police officer dragging a black girl out of her school desk and not knowing what story about the context to believe. I also remember feeling a strong sense of anger emanating from the student and from the officer. It marked the first moment of my awareness of the deeper issues we’re now facing today.

As a white male millennial, there are a lot of things you could assume about me. There are certain areas of life where I have experienced “white privilege” (if you call a lack of discrimination and being evenly and fairly considered among many options to be a “privilege”) and others where I’ve felt discriminated against. I’ve been discriminated against because of my height, my age, my beliefs, my poor financial status… usually not my race, but that doesn’t make the discrimination any less real.

All I know is that holding on to anger would have kept me stuck in a mess of insecurity, a mental and emotional prison, an unhealthy and stunted worldview. It’s for this reason that I want to share specific areas that I have chosen to forgive others so that I can be free to enjoy life and spread joy to others. These things I’m about to share may be real problems or they may be merely perceived by me. Either way, these are negative beliefs and experiences that I refuse to hold on to and I will also share areas where I am choosing to bless instead. This is what taking action on the issues of the day looks like for me. Maybe there will be another step after this, I don’t know. For now, let’s begin:

I Forgive White People

  • I FORGIVE any and all white people for knowingly or unknowingly exercising any level of privilege, real or imaginary, at the expense of other human beings instead of on the behalf of others
  • I FORGIVE any and all white people who deny that racism still exists today for not seeking to understand the world they live in and for not actively seeking to help those who are hurting
  • I FORGIVE any and all white people for any real or perceived attempts to drown out the voices reminding us that black lives matter by creating a cacophony of “all lives matter”
  • I FORGIVE any and all white people for being unnecessarily reactionary and unskillful in dealing with conflict and exercising humility

I Forgive Black People

  • I FORGIVE any and all black people who knowingly or unknowingly hold on to anger against white people for refusing to forgive me for the injustices of the past and present, and any injustices yet to happen, intended or unintended
  • I FORGIVE any and all black people who rail against all white people as being ‘privileged’ for not realizing that privilege doesn’t necessarily come to you because you are white but because you are affluent and for making unfair generalizations about me
  • I FORGIVE any and all black people who are equally as stubborn and naive as white people for not taking the time to walk a mile in my shoes and still have the audacity to point a finger of accusation

I Forgive Police Officers

  • I FORGIVE any and all police officers who have consciously or unconsciously allowed their prejudices to influence the way they treat black people in a manner that differs from the way they treat white people for not actively uprooting their unhealthy world views and presenting the best version of themselves possible

I Forgive The American Church

  • I FORGIVE the church for not always setting the best example of how to love people across generational and racial lines and for often serving to help divide rather than restore society
  • I FORGIVE the church for not emphasizing the necessity of forgiveness enough and demonstrating how to walk it out

I Forgive Angry and Defensive People

  • I FORGIVE any and all people who hate, argue, and disparage others for not listening to the heart cry of society today and for not being moved with compassion

BLESSINGS

I Bless White People

  • I BLESS white people with humility and joy so that they can discover the privilege and power of becoming the servants of all and establishing a standard of living that becomes other people’s floor rather than their ceiling
  • I BLESS white people with maturity and confidence to ask excellent questions and to become skilled listeners, especially when talking with people of unfamiliar backgrounds, upbringings, and persuasions
  • I BLESS white people with bravery to face criticism, however harsh, and still respond with love and honor

I Bless Black People

  • I BLESS black people with a double portion of grace and honor so that they can begin to rise up and initiate the greatest movement of healing and racial reconciliation the world has seen to date
  • I BLESS black people with abundant peace so that they can rest in the assurance that God doesn’t show partiality and His vindication is strong and complete
  • I BLESS black people with unquenchable endurance, an indomitable spirit, so that the world will know that the One who breathes life into mankind is powerful enough to sustain the people He loves

I Bless Police Officers

  • I BLESS police officers with the wisdom, strength, and love they need to serve and protect our citizens with dignity, honor, and respect
  • I BLESS police officers with insight to recognize situations and circumstances where they could be harboring potentially compromising beliefs
  • I BLESS police officers with divine action strategies to pursue personal development and foster goodwill in their communities

I Bless The American Church

  • I BLESS the church with an irresistible pull of the Spirit to make Jesus the starting and ending point of their conversations so that unity becomes the norm rather than the exception and so that they can lead the world as a light of hope in the midst of the darkness of division

I Bless All People

  • I BLESS humanity with the realization of the love of Christ, and the wisdom and understanding to apply it in everyday life
  • I BLESS humanity with heavenly keys to conflict so that people from all walks of life will be able to accurately express who they are and what they’re feeling and so that those listening will know how to interpret what they hear and understand things as they are intended and not as a different worldview or belief system may cause them to falsely appear

Opportunity

I’m not waiting for another opportunity. I am not waiting for a chance to make it big in life, strike it rich, or become famous. The truth is that I am famous to God. Being known and adored by God is the most elevated position in the universe. I’m already at the pinnacle of success, fame, and wealth. I am now free to pursue everything I do without a worry in the world because I’m not looking for personal gain, I’m looking to share the wealth.

Jesus Christ does not give me opportunities—He is my opportunity. He gives me permission to live abandoned to His care, to build healthy relationships simply because I enjoy it, to demonstrate to others that they’re worth my time because I am worth God’s time and now I have all the time in the world. I’m not worried about my next paycheck, finding a place to live, or having the right friends/network/connections. I’m motivated to find the people who don’t know who they are, the people lost in the negativity of the enemy, and share the abundant wealth of joy, fellowship, and provision in my life.

The truth about me is that God accepts me. I know this because I have joy. Since God accepts me, my main goal in relationships is to accept other people and demonstrate their value by listening to their stories, celebrating their victories, and plotting ways to bless them. I am looking for people to accept, offenses to forgive, and kindnesses to celebrate. This is who I am because Jesus Christ exists—there is no downside whatsoever!

Tightrope

This is the second time it’s happened—hitting a wall, that is. You know, the emotional kind. You know you’ve hit the metaphorical wall when you can’t think, you can’t process conversation, you can’t make a sound. The air gets stuck in your throat and the universe seems to pause. In moments like these, I’m not sure if it’s easier to know why you’ve hit the wall or easier to not know. All I know is I knew. I knew why I hit it and I know now.

It seems to be really easy for me to think God is the source of my trouble. I’ve grown partial to the understanding that it’s possible to run headlong into God’s work and suffer pain, not because He’s trying to hurt you, but because you ran into Him by running against Him. At this point, I don’t know if it’s a general rule of life, but it generally feels true for me.

We were talking. I was currently speaking when she interupted me, “Don’t be so literal.” I didn’t think I was. Without warning, my mind began churning out arguments in defense of accusations—she hadn’t even accused me of half of the things flooding my thoughts. The first and only sign necessary to signal that this is about something else. It’s about the first time I felt whacked upside the head by a passing remark. Both times I’d been talking with people I had met through church. Neither one meant their comments in a hurtful way, yet I was crushed by both of them. This brings me back to God.

The stunning simplicity of these interactions was like being suddenly blind-sided by a huge wave, knocking me back and leaving me strangely bitter. I attributed this to God since He was the topic of our discussions. Now I’m wondering if that’s really the case. I suspected a dutiful “thank you” would bring me through it, but I carried mounting guilt and shame out of my interactions with these people. Something didn’t add up. Maybe, despite their best intentions, my friends’ words had been appropriated by a demonic agenda. Maybe God had nothing to do with it. After all, aren’t the righteous supposed to be able to run into Him and be safe?

Maybe it’s been part of an assignment to derail my pursuits, to steal my joy, to convince me that advancement will only lead me in circles of futility. Yet here I find myself, in the words of Misty Edwards, “walking on a tightrope stretched across the universe, way too high to go back from where I came, overwhelmed at the miles I’ve yet to tame. I’m too far in to turn around now and I’ve got too far to go to sit down now…” I wonder how this will all play out.

Whenever I Speak

Whenever I speak out of frustration:

  • I end up partnering with someone else’s demonic opposition
  • I fail to partner with God’s answer of provision for the person or issue I’m speaking about
  • I act as though I believe the person I am speaking against does not hear from God
  • I neglect my ability to contribute personal meaning to the conversation through the lessons and growth that I am learning and experiencing
  • I stunt the personal growth I could have through the tension of honoring a perspective that is “other” than me
  • I miss out on an opportunity to seek understanding before being understood
  • I pave the way for offense in the relationship
  • I choose pride in my opinion against someone else’s
  • I make the path of humility to feel far more costly
  • I succumb to every form of negativity
  • I rob myself of enjoying the company of another human being
  • I idolize being right over being connected
  • I forget that my identity isn’t found in my beliefs
  • I fear that the person or idea I’m frustrated with will harm me if left unconfronted
  • I sabotage my ability to shape or influence the person or idea I’m frustrated with

Whenever I speak from a place of revelation (understanding of who I am and what I’m experiencing):

  • I bless those who hear
  • I encourage those who need hope
  • I honor others’ ability to contribute shared meaning
  • I become a safe person to confide in
  • I attract more goodness from my Father in heaven
  • I enjoy being present in the moment
  • I delight simply in sharing and don’t fear being rejected
  • I gain clearer vision for my dreams and goals
  • I feel grateful
  • I see the good in other people and situations
  • I have more grace for the things people say that I think are wrong
  • I spur dialogue which leads to a synthesis of new ideas
  • I maximize my potential in my current season of life
  • I free myself from old perceptions and stereotypes
  • I create forward momentum for more growth

Can You Avoid Assumptions?

It often feels to me like there really are no safe or reasonable assumptions in life. I think my feeling is based on the experience that hurt happens and people die and flowers grow and the supreme court makes people angry.

I don’t want to change my assumptions based upon my experiences. I want to choose my assumptions based upon the values they cause me to embody.

I assume (based upon the suggestion of scripture) that God is a comforter. This causes me to become a comforting influence to others that I’m in relationship with.

According to life experience alone, some people may say that an all-powerful and loving God is nothing more than an assumption. Whether or not this is true, God really isn’t all that bad of an assumption in my opinion.

Pride is the uncritical (and often emotional) choice to indulge in our pet assumptions under the guise of “common sense.” The blind spots in your critical thinking are the areas where pride is most likely to reside.

Pride is the true enemy of community. Beware of the seed of pride.

It’s important to remember also that when it comes to relationships, the non-verbal questions you pose to one person may be answered by another. Sometimes the person that you receive back from is God Himself.

Perhaps the real problem with gratification is not that we’re unable to delay it for good things, but that we’re unbalanced in the things we gratify. The only way to truly gain mastery over an emotion is to delay indulging in it.

To delay indulging in an emotion, you must speak kindly to yourself. You then become able to “try on” a different emotion or attitude that might help you better than the one you’re tempted by.

One of the biggest things that comes to mind in closing is that God often shows up in the places we least expect. I find that fear and sadness don’t really seem like great options after all.IMG_0087

Detox Agents

“Wow, this is deep,” I mused.

I find myself enraptured by the words I read on the screen, when the inevitable moment arrives: I disagree with the author.

“No, that’s a horrible way to look at it. This is exactly the mindset that irritates me about people today.”

Then I remember a crucial detail: I’m reading my own posts from 3 years ago. At some level, I wonder if this points to growth. It surely shows change of some kind… I’ll just call it “growth” for now.

This is the quote in question: “Yet, before we can see the wholeness of God, we must first be confronted with the utter brokenness of the world and feel the painful despair of knowing that we are powerless to fix it.” (If you’re curious, it comes from this post.)

You may have heard this same idea phrased in terms of light and dark: “You don’t know the value of light until you’ve experienced darkness.” The problem is that since dark doesn’t technically exist, but is only a term to describe an absence of light, the root issue of not valuing light is a one of perspective and insinuates that if you don’t value light, it’s because your perspective actually values darkness. While it is possible to learn to value light by experiencing its lack, it’s also possible to learn to value light by experiencing a greater measure or intensity of it. Say for instance that you were sitting in a room lit by 800 lumens and then turned on another light which brought the level up to 1,200 lumens, you could say that the increase of light revealed that you had only known darkness before the increase (pessimism) or you could say that the increase of light revealed to you a more marvelous reality of the power of light (optimism). Thus “darkness” becomes relative to your experience of light. There is no such thing as darkness, only a perspective that values diminishing light (that is, centered around measuring visibility in terms of how much light is missing from the environment and evaluating what you can’t do because of this lack, which is the nature of pessimism).

Bringing it back full circle, there is no such thing as brokenness (which I believe is nothing more than a perceived lack of the desired level of wholeness), but only a perspective that is centered around the concepts of brokenness and despair. In any situation, I believe you can see brokenness getting in the way of healthy and functional systems, or you can see wholeness promoting the growth and betterment of the same institutions. You can pinpoint areas of lack and problems, or you can pour effort into increasing the efficiency and health of the good things that are working. The two perspectives are not getting at different issues, but are approaching the same thing from different angles.

The thing about the pessimistic perspective I’ve described that irritates me is that it encourages you to actively look for problems and exerts an emotional gravity that sucks you into cycles of hopelessness, despair, and frustration. The pursuit of problems can eventually lead you to ones that seem so big and so powerful that you feel utterly insignificant and powerless. It leads you to experience a reality that often defies the facts because you are emotionally compromised. Without the realization of a powerful and loving God who is committed to your deliverance, this realization of insignificance is an emotional dead end.

However, if you are somehow convinced of the reality of a God like I mentioned, something must fundamentally change in your perspective. To continue looking for bad things in life is an activity that is incongruent with the assumption of an all-powerful, loving God. If you live from a pessimistic perspective, your actions reveal a belief (perhaps even a subconscious belief) that God is not good, uninvolved in your life, not willing to help you, or other similar ideas.

Optimism can also cause you to become emotionally compromised, but in a way that enhances your ability to act, connect with others, and flourish. It can lead you to experience a reality that defies facts by convincing you of your power to change things through a commitment to your internal values and practicing boundaries that keep unhealthy thoughts out of your heart and mind. It leads you to celebrate life through engaging in it, rather than withdrawing from your circumstances through criticism.

Coming back to the quote (from my own mouth!) that set me off in the first place, I believe that what I’ve said is correct as long as it’s interpreted as a descriptive statement rather than a prescriptive statement. I don’t want to tell anyone that they have to be aware of darkness before they can value light. As long as you’re aware of what’s changing, that’s what matters. It can be viewed as brokenness causing pain or as wholeness advancing peace, but don’t make your perspective into a prescriptive stance on life. Use it to celebrate the possibility of change. Use it to enjoy the present. Use it to subvert reality and make circumstances your playground rather than your prison.

If you also happen to confess (as I do) that God is loving, all-powerful, and engaged in your personal life, then I want to encourage you with the thought that you are a Divine detox agent. Your positive confession of who God is creates an environment where negative thoughts and brokenness become consumed by righteousness, peace, and joy. The intensity of your detoxifying effect is determined by the singularity of your focus on God’s power to raise the dead to life, as shown by the life of Jesus who is the firstborn of the dead, and your choice to remain fully convinced that God wants to make you like Jesus.

Basically, life with God in view is wildly optimistic because the nature of His being is goodness. I don’t have any more time for negatives.

IMG_1733

Gladden

Something about a ray of light speaks to me of hope being fulfilled.

I struggled greatly trying to title this post. I came across this shot completely accidentally. I was attempting to take a picture of the wire mesh at an askew angle for fun when I noticed the gleam of light from the sun’s last rays. It’s like a light that strikes your peripheral vision. Have you ever had that happen to you and had it catch you unawares? Something about the idea of a sudden, unexpected ray of light speaks to me of the way God works, the way He fulfills hope that is placed in Him. Situations may seem to be against hope ever being fulfilled, but we serve YHWH, the God who created out of nothing. He takes even what is seemingly set up against His purposes and re-structures it to proclaim His glory. Like an unexpected ray of light, He transforms the ordinary into something eternally extraordinary. He satisfies all desire, He fulfills all longing, and He gladdens the heart with His presence. He is a God Who meets hope. Place your hope in God—it will be fully met because of Who He is.