I stand at my window with dread welling up in me. It's a mild, sunny day, yet I can't help but feel the weight of my opposition. I've heard it said that when you taste defeat, Almighty God weeps with you. I've heard it said that God restores the years that the locusts have eaten; He brings beauty out of ashes. I've heard it said that what the devil means for harm, God uses for good. I have heard it said that there are powerful lessons to be...
Jesus, as I call Your Name,
I feel crushing defeat
Weighing down.
Surely, no, it couldn't be,
Not my pride, no, not control,
My heavy crown. I see a future full of stuff
To do, entirely of my own
Creating.
But the calendar constrains—
The due process of order leaves me
Waiting. I open my mouth to speak,
Explain the tension holding
My weak love.
If weeping breaks the chains of fear,
Accept this act committed here
With fierce love.
I was feeling defeated today. What do I do when I feel defeated? I talk to Jesus. So, J and I were talking today and He showed me something that I hadn't fully realized. I've been comparing myself with my brothers and sisters in Christ, trying to measure up to an imaginary standard of excellence that would not bring fulfillment. I was questioning God. Why do there seem to be so many people much more talented than I? Why do I feel unneeded? Why...
