I’ve had so much to think about today. Mainly, I’ve just been realizing how much I am indebted to the graciousness of other people. I wouldn’t have had a house to live in for the last four years had it not been for the graciousness of friends. Somehow I had managed to not think about because I was not dealing directly with those people (my mom was), but I still feel bad for being as complacent as I was. I am where I am in life right now because someone showed me grace. Wow.

At this point in my life, I am at a point where my living situation may be changing again. I guess this is why I’m thinking about grace right now: the grace I’ve been shown in this situation may be coming to an end. I’m not worried really, I’m entering a new season of life; yet at the same time, I’m wondering how God will next choose to show me grace because I can’t make it on my own. I know without a doubt that God is reaching out His hand for me to take hold of, and I will gladly hold on to wherever He takes me. With that said, this picture sums up what I really want to say for the last five years of my life.

All of my blessings have come from God's hand. Thank You, Jesus!

Oh Israel

I just want to be mature and complete! I feel like I am constantly learning and re-learning the same lessons in life. How long will I go through this cycle of repetition? How long will I so stubbornly stick to my old ways of thinking? Change me, O God! Create in me a pure heart.

I see other people pass me by on the road of maturity, learning the lessons that I somehow never fully grasped and I mourn for my own lack of understanding. Perhaps I should stop thinking of maturity as a road. Maybe maturity means a little bit more than simply comprehending life lessons. Maybe maturity is found somewhere in accepting gracefully the ebb and flow of living in the Spirit of God as He takes us to the places where He desires us to give Him Lordship.

Search me and know me, O God! Create a pure heart within me! Renew my mind with Your truth—overflow me with Your love. Show me Your heart. I want to hear how it beats. I want to know how it hurts. I want to feel how it delights. Let me know Your heart, Abba!