Jesus, as I call Your Name,
I feel crushing defeat
Weighing down.
Surely, no, it couldn't be,
Not my pride, no, not control,
My heavy crown. I see a future full of stuff
To do, entirely of my own
Creating.
But the calendar constrains—
The due process of order leaves me
Waiting. I open my mouth to speak,
Explain the tension holding
My weak love.
If weeping breaks the chains of fear,
Accept this act committed here
With fierce love.
I just want to be mature and complete! I feel like I am constantly learning and re-learning the same lessons in life. How long will I go through this cycle of repetition? How long will I so stubbornly stick to my old ways of thinking? Change me, O God! Create in me a pure heart. I see other people pass me by on the road of maturity, learning the lessons that I somehow never fully grasped and I mourn for my own lack of understanding. Perhaps I...
I was feeling defeated today. What do I do when I feel defeated? I talk to Jesus. So, J and I were talking today and He showed me something that I hadn't fully realized. I've been comparing myself with my brothers and sisters in Christ, trying to measure up to an imaginary standard of excellence that would not bring fulfillment. I was questioning God. Why do there seem to be so many people much more talented than I? Why do I feel unneeded? Why...
I was talking with Jesus today. I had before me a choice to focus on something evil and pleasurable or to turn and spend time with Jesus. I packed up my backpack, got up from my seat, and walked to the exit. Jesus closed the door behind me and we walked outside discussing life. Well, it was more like I was telling Him about my life. I finally stopped speaking and asked Him where we were going. He asked me what I wanted to do. I told Him that I...
"Sunshine is the best disinfectant." —Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis I woke up this morning to a ray of sunshine through my window, and I couldn't help but smile. After a busy week of school during which it was mostly cloudy and rainy, I needed the encouraging brightness of sunlight. It brought to mind, one of the life lessons I have been reflecting on this week: renewing your mind. There is a reason that the Bible says that we are to...
When you attempt to explain an emotion with words, the best you can do is describe it. Actions are the only things that can really express feelings. Actions are the rawest display of emotions possible. Describing emotions with words is the rational mind's way of normalizing what it cannot understand. To this purpose, the act of writing to normalize expresses fear. The smallest action may explain volumes more than words can contain.
This morning, I woke up with questions on my mind. Let me explain some history: the space of time between this post and the last has been considerable. Here is what you need to know. Sometimes in life, people will hurt us and circumstances will crush us. It's a very general statement, I know, but it's a start. Since the start of this semester at college for me, I have had people enter my life who have reminded me of past hurts: friends who say...
Hi all, I have a newly penned poem that I'd like to share with you! You'll be able to find this poem and many others in my upcoming book Snapshots: Of the Coming Glory!
Dead Ends and Open Doors
Please, don’t remind me again,
It hurts as deep as any sin,
See me now begin to blush,
See my blood begin to rush
To my head.
Like I said,
The path of pain does only now begin. Now I can’t say anything.
My ears will not stop from ringing,
Every door...
Dreaming is closely related to desire. In fact, sometimes our biggest dreams reveal our greatest desires and our strangest dreams provide the rawest perspective of our most genuine self. I've been dreaming a lot lately—dreaming about friends, life, and all sorts of odd situations, and they all boil down to this: they all betray my desires. What do I desire? I desire to overcome, I desire to break new ground and break through generational...
So I just got back from a tour with the William Jessup University Choir and Orchestra, and I wanted to take some time to fill you in on some impactful words that I came across during tour. You see, we were on a bus most of the time, which gave me ample time to spend with God in His Word and He was faithful to speak to me! There were two main passages that spoke to me during this time. "Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou...
