Got any to spare? Lately, it just seems like that's the one thing I'm missing. I have none. Zippo. Zilch. Nada. No bueno. I walk into a room full of people and I practically run to a corner where I can be a notorious "wallflower" and smile at people (sometimes) but not really talk to anyone. I make myself sick. You'd think I'd been locked in a room my whole life... ahem. So how about that weather we've been having? So anyway, I've been feeling a...
This summer is shaping up to be a wilderness for me. I have no idea where I'll be living during the next couple months, and I may not be going back to school in the Fall. The things I've been enjoying, learning, and looking forward to—all of my hopes and plans for the future—have been unraveling. This is the picture I am left with: a wilderness. I'm not afraid: I've been here before. It is at this place I am reminded that during times of...
Have you ever been in a place where you're overwhelmed by a deluge of truth? It's like the facts of life are rolling in today and I realize how much I just need to trust God. Thank You, Jesus for opening my eyes. I feel like I have been given new information on my immediate future. It's information that is hard to accept joyfully, because on the one hand, it reinforces the fact that I might not be coming back to school in the Fall. On the other...
I've had so much to think about today. Mainly, I've just been realizing how much I am indebted to the graciousness of other people. I wouldn't have had a house to live in for the last four years had it not been for the graciousness of friends. Somehow I had managed to not think about because I was not dealing directly with those people (my mom was), but I still feel bad for being as complacent as I was. I am where I am in life right now because...
Lately, I've been consumed with looking up. Literally. Here's a picture for you. I think my obsession with looking up has some meaning to it. I'll get to that in a little bit. I've also been enjoying gazing at vast expanses such as this one. There's something inspiring about wide-open spaces—something freeing that beckons you to run wild and take ownership of and responsibility for all that you see. Maybe that's just me, maybe it's not. I've...
Some days I wake up and I feel good. Those days are special to me. Often, I wake up and I feel a lack in my heart. There's really no easy way to put it into words. At least, there wasn't until tonight. There was an open mic at our school's chapel service tonight. I listened to many, many of the students that I live with on campus give their testimonies of how God has been working in their lives, and a theme emerged: community. The word seems so...
Okay. Spring break is over. It’s a sadness and relief wrapped up into one. Sadness that I couldn’t have more time to rest my mind from schoolwork and delve more into creativity. Relief that the semester is almost over and that my circumstances are continuing to change. I like this about life—things will always change, sometimes painfully slowly, but consistently nonetheless. This first week back after break has been fascinating so far. I...
Hey there! So, today felt brand new. This has been my fourth day on Spring break and, lest I become complacent, today came with a sudden change of pace. I had to leave the house actually because my mom was doing childcare. Anyhow, I decided to walk to the Bayside Church Cafe (because I don't have a car) and work on homework. So that's just what I did. I left the house at 9 AM and made it to church at 9:45. I even finished a whole paper while I...
I struggle from making mountains out of molehills. My natural tendency is to be overly emotional about the things that I think I need, and very jealous about the things that I don't have. It's kind of like my reactions to the weather today. When the sunlight is shining brightly, I feel at peace and productive. Then clouds come casting their shadow over me and I become unsettled and depressed. Huh, I guess that just means I'm human. I had a...
I recently auditioned to play violin in my school’s chapel services, and I came away with some realizations that I simply must share with you! 1) I was reminded once again how insecure I really am and how much I crave acceptance from the people around me. The minute I walked on stage I immediately felt a surge of energy course through my veins although it wasn’t completely nervous energy like it has been before—it was more of an...
